exquisitely erratic

2003-10-17T20:33:00.000+08:00

You come from the Ocean. You've always been drawn
to the sea, the sound of the waves, the crystal
blue water, near the sea is where you belong.

Where Did Your Soul Originate?
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You represent... hope.
You're quite a daydreamer and can be a hopeless
romantic. You enjoy being creative and don't
mind being alone at times. You have goals, and
know what you want in life... even if they are
a little far fetched.

What feeling do you represent?
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2003-10-17T20:21:00.000+08:00

Your element is Spirit. You are above most Earthly
things or like to think you are. More
mysterious than any of the other elements and
twice as dangerous. You tend to be a loner and
whatever you belive in it verges on fanatical.
Be careful because Spirit has no true substance
and can get lost.

What's your element
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Water Goddess. You like peace and serenity and are
usually content with life.

What element would you rein over? (For Girls)
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2003-10-17T20:15:00.000+08:00

dont ask me about the promos. go away.

2003-10-04T18:18:00.000+08:00

You're Most Like The Season Winter ...

You're often depicted as the cold, distant season.
But you're incredibly intelligent, mature and
Independant. You have an air of power around
you - and that can sometimes scare people off.
You're complex, and get hurt easily - so you
rarely let people in if you can help it. You
can be somewhat of a loner, but just as easily
you could be the leader of many. You Tend to be
negative, and hard to relate to, but you give
off a relaxed image despite being insecure -
and secretly many people long to be like you,
not knowing how deep the Winter season really
is.

Well done... You're the most inspirational of
seasons :)

?? Which Season Are You ??
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2003-10-03T20:08:00.000+08:00

SEASON of mists and mellow fruitfulness,
Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun;
Conspiring with him how to load and bless
With fruit the vines that round the thatch-eaves run;
To bend with apples the moss'd cottage-trees,
And fill all fruit with ripeness to the core;
To swell the gourd, and plump the hazel shells
With a sweet kernel; to set budding more,
And still more, later flowers for the bees,
Until they think warm days will never cease;
For Summer has o'erbrimm'd their clammy cells.

Who hath not seen thee oft amid thy store?
Sometimes whoever seeks abroad may find
Thee sitting careless on a granary floor,
Thy hair soft-lifted by the winnowing wind;
Or on a half-reap'd furrow sound asleep,
Drowsed with the fume of poppies, while thy hook
Spares the next swath and all its twinèd flowers:
And sometimes like a gleaner thou dost keep
Steady thy laden head across a brook;
Or by a cyder-press, with patient look,
Thou watchest the last oozings, hours by hours.

Where are the songs of Spring? Ay, where are they?
Think not of them, thou hast thy music too,—
While barrèd clouds bloom the soft-dying day
And touch the stubble-plains with rosy hue;
Then in a wailful choir the small gnats mourn
Among the river-sallows, borne aloft
Or sinking as the light wind lives or dies;
And full-grown lambs loud bleat from hilly bourn;
Hedge-crickets sing; and now with treble soft
The redbreast whistles from a garden-croft;
And gathering swallows twitter in the skies.
--Ode to autumn by John Keats

2003-09-23T21:04:00.000+08:00

Lord, grant me the courage to change the things that i can, the serenity to accept those that i can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

sometimes i wish things turn out differently. sometimes i wish i never left my comfort zones, the nice warm fuzzy circle of friends i had. sometimes, on nights like these, when all are busy slaving away at their work or indulging in token moments of rest, i sink into a reverie, retrospection. i find myself wondering about the what ifs...what if ive went to rg instead of ny? what if i got into rj frm the 1st 3 mths? what if i chose nj over ac? what if i never left ac?

jumbled, disjointed thoughts. i live in a world of reclusion. or i wish i did.

an oyster, happily existing in the light of its pearl.

to those ive neglected and left behind, i wish for you to know you are not forgotten. especially to the utopian class: 1aa3 jan-march, i miss you guys. lots. i wish the world's any oyster that's centred around us.

i wish there are shooting stars tonight.

2003-09-14T09:55:00.000+08:00

hiding behing greens reds and blues. feathers, sequins, glitter. today im a mermaid, flaunting my sparkling tail. tomorrow i will be an elf, parading in sure-footed confidence.

no one knows anyone. she may be your friend today, a fiend tomorrow. this is a world where yesterdays don't count. this is a place where todays dont stay.

everyday's a masquerade.

2003-09-10T14:40:00.000+08:00

take me back to old china, where we like lovers of an ancient chinese legend can relive the untainted charm of romance. writing our whispers on rice paper, we exchange them at dusk, our fingers brushing past one another's, the burning we feel can only remain silent within us for now. the streets are decorated with paper lanterns, each confining a soft glow of light. if we lived in the past, i could only wish to have your face reflected in the gleaming waterfronts, to feel your sigh in the lightness of the wind. the stars will look like a million jade pendants in the mid-heavens, hanging from a piece of silk, draped across the vastness of the sky. i could only wish that the world around us would rise as the mist in the biting wind, disappearing the moment we close our eyes in embrace.

snipped from rachel's blog. different people, similar sentiments.

2003-09-06T12:40:00.000+08:00

Don’t take my silence to be ignorance.
Don’t take my peace to be compliance. If u have guts, say what u want to in my face.

I DARE YOU TO.

Fortunately for you I don’t stoop down to YOUR level.

I stone u in my head.

2003-09-04T17:23:00.000+08:00

love is sweet.

i wish all friends are like lovers.

to hell with politics.

2003-08-31T10:15:00.000+08:00

i woke up to the warm sunshine this morning...breathing in the scent of white lilies streaked with pink...curtains flapping gently in the wind... his voice teased me out of sweet slumber..my heart baked warm like toast, by the thought of loving friends...sipping on freshly blended apple n orange juice, crunching on honeyed nuts...i pen my disjointed thoughts...a girl in bliss, unaware of the world...

2003-08-29T18:03:00.000+08:00

Lord of the Rings!

What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
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2003-08-29T17:52:00.000+08:00

hmm. nothing happened during the track meet. as far as i remembered...

went back to ny today. was nice seeing those familiar faces again. jasmine, qianyi, qinyi and aileen!! too bad simoney wasnt there... and joyce Ilynn and zhiqing! babes of 4/12 :) and shuzhen and char and becky and cindy and.........

miss the ole times.

made a date w jas ai n qianyi and prob (most definitely) simone to bring along our babies and have fun at sentosa after promos :)

seeing them made me feel sad and nostalgic for the old times where we'd fret together bout tests and copy off chem and physics worksheets...the friendships we fostered are pure and untainted by competition and rivalry, nurtured by love and genuine well wishes. you guys are all i can wish for as friends. i miss you all.

2003-08-25T08:41:00.000+08:00

i love flower by kenzo.

6mths of arguments and bliss. 6mths of waiting and arriving. 6mths, and more to come.

2003-08-16T12:15:00.000+08:00

Angel of Peace

What kind of Angel are you?
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2003-08-16T11:45:00.000+08:00

a recount of yesterday...

ballet under the stars was good. the weather was cooperative for once, conjuring up a gentle breeze that danced across the green in tune with the ballerinas, warming the hearts of all.

was a little piqued when the class went off leaving just me and himon the green. not that i dont crave some time alone with him, given that we dont see each other very often now. still. they told me to get him in. and yet. those bunch of alcoholics...swaggering drunken gigglets. still. i love them all :)

how i marvel at the grace and proud poise of the ballerinas. sure made me feel like a huge blundering hippo.

goodbye liong. the only thing i regret about my first 3mths is not having the opportunity to know this a13a bunch. and now one banana (oops quan i hope it aint your copyright) is leaving. all the best and hey, it was fun having you arnd.

im worried bout simone baby. take care k? i have a little surprise for you on monday. suspect sch's not full of aticipation for you as it had usually...hope i do a little in alleviating your gloom.

glad the efforts you put in have paid off finally. im proud of youfor making it to worlds.

2003-08-09T17:47:00.000+08:00

friday. honey baked chicken, beautiful weather. white lilies. him.
us.
friday. ive danced with the fairies and tasted a rainbow.

2003-08-04T19:06:00.000+08:00

Cut a chrysalis open, and you will find a rotting caterpillar. What you will never find is that mythical creature, half caterpillar, half butterfly, a fit emblem of the human soul, for those whose cast of mind leads them to seek such emblems. No, the process of transformation consists almost entirely of decay.--Pat Barker, Regeneration

2003-08-03T11:50:00.000+08:00

let bygones be bygones. you do deserve me.

p/s. lingkai :) thanks for being there :) im ok dont worry yeah? :)

2003-07-31T22:23:00.000+08:00

cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed

What Sign of Affection Are You?
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ello...this is lovely baby's darling result hee hee ;)

2003-07-31T19:56:00.000+08:00

hand holding - you like to be in constant physical
contact with your special someone but you don't
want to take things too quickly.

What Sign of Affection Are You?
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2003-07-30T17:49:00.000+08:00

comment from someone re suicide: they complain.
but they never tink about those that are worse off than them.

don't you hate it when pious-seeming people put on their hoity-toity high hat of principles and moral highgrounds. really.

heard lots of similar comments around when justina's death was made known to us in school. i was horribly struck by the repulsive cold heartedness of some. oh i dont disagree that suicide affects many.

but have these people (obviously ignomarous fools who have no inkling of depression) ever thought of how desperate some may be? it is not selfishness. but despair. the cold hands of death.

lord, now that justina is with you, let her be relieved of all her muted sufferings. help all of us, lord, to be more perceptive to pleas of distress around us and lord, i pray that all of us will see and feel your love so that we would find a way out of the gloom. and lord god, i pray you will lead her close ones out of this difficult period and allow time to mend the scars. all these i pray in Jesus' name. Amen.

2003-07-28T19:23:00.000+08:00

racial harmony day in rj : http://community.webshots.com/photo/82873786/82874677UuKaYQ

2003-07-22T13:35:00.000+08:00

from him :a Dream was born--embedded within, neither the sparkle of fantasies nor the dull gleam of dismay. rather harken well, the chimes of hope that echo from its depths, for there will always be as long as your with me, a chance, a future, a dream worth dreaming.

thanks sweet :)

2003-07-19T11:49:00.000+08:00

the starless night envelopes us in a cloak of warm surreality. the path, trodden to familiarity, never teemed with little granuales of joy as it did yesterday night. the glitter of winning, the shimmer of love, cleaved a path in front of us. the moon danced to her little ditty, the night wind sighs and hums to the tapping of her feet...whispering trees form an arch overhead, shielding us from the reality of the day. the cares and wearies of the day melts away, leaving us young, vibrant and innocent once more...in a sudden release, my soul was free to soar, to roam, to dance...

i live for nights like these.

2003-07-16T09:09:00.000+08:00

it's been aeons since i last blogged. some things cannot be put into words. sometimes i wish i have a greater power over the soft lines and beautiful waves of poetry so that i can write exactly how i feel. or sometimes i dream i'm an artist, a painter (a dream that will remain unfortunately) who can capture the very essence of life. words are sometimes too heavy-handed--the pen lacks the gentleness of the brush to flow and take the form of life and feelings. by trying to contain calenture, by seeking to define, the bubble bursts.

so let it all remain a fantasy.

2003-07-07T14:12:00.000+08:00

a Dream was born--a bee tumbling out of the folds of her apple blossom cocoon, her baby wings perfumed with the fragrance of spring, glistening with the rainbow dew of the beautiful morn. She stretched her wings. She wobbled. She soared, buzzing in perfect ecstacy. barely a feet away from her petal-ed womb, she flew, right smack, in the midst of a sticky tapestry--shimmering, in all its fine woven glory.

A dimpled spider, decked in the jewels of the sun dancing wildly in a sonorous hallelujah, waltz gracefully--a ballerina on tightrope.

the Dream laid, crushed, silenced. A heap of dust.

Then the winds came.

2003-07-04T11:01:00.000+08:00

You Are A Mermaid
A Siren In Her Own Right, Wise And Water Loving.

Which Mythical Female Are You? (With Pics)
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2003-07-04T10:31:00.000+08:00

i cant keep doing that again and again. one day it'll hurt so bad and i won't be able to mend it again. one day it'll shatter to a million trillion bits, and i cant pick them all up again. and im afraid, so scared, that today might be that one day...

ah yes. toucan.

finished Lolita. A normal man given a group photograph of school girls or Girl Scouts and asked to point out the comeliest one will not necessarily choose the nymphet among them. You have to be an artist and a madman, a creature of infinite melancholy, with a bubble of hot poison in your loins and a super-voluptuous flame permenantly aglow in your subtle spine (oh, how you have to cringe and hide!), in order to discern at once, by ineffable signs--the slightly feline outline of a cheekbone, the slenderness of a downy limb, and other indices which despair and shame and tears of tenderness forbid me to tabulate--the deadly demon among the wholesome children; she stands unrecognized by them and unconscious herself of her fantastic power.

rachie i beg to differ...if u read till towards the later parts of the book, it is hardly beautiful. the ugly world Lo live in.

anyway its a good book! havent read anything so stark and...unsettling, but yet not quite so, for the tone though descriptive of his feelings maintained a certain detachedness...hey rach, haha i think i should have taken the book with Lo's picture in front...haha.

i love rainy days.

2003-07-03T19:05:00.000+08:00

YAY!its over! *grins widely*

hmm. didnt feel like going out after that. rach n i popped into the library (yeah the library) and got a couple of books and vcds :) post-exam stoning and replenishment of dead brain cells :)

after that i went for lunch with him at bk. met jas and her bf :) hullo there! haha. then i head home and slept...O delightful slumber!

and got started on the highly-acclaimed albeit more highly controversial (but then again its highly acclaimed cuz its controversial right..ha) Lolita.

all those cool pple out there must be wondering what's wrong with me or rach. haha. im just lazy and after days of mugging and 6hr nights (i need my regular 9hrs at least..hehe), i can hardly resist having the whole house to me while i curl up with a good, light reading accompanied by feathery strand of Secret Garden in the background. Oh, and not to mention the great variety of choc, cereal and junk really, of different shapes, sizes and colours. hmmmm. i like those fruit loop cereal. the one with the big red bird (flamingo?) on the carton. cant remember the name for some reason hm. oh and honey stars!

bringing my sis out for a movie at Cine tml....hmmm mmm...nachos!

having an ac gathering at quentin's golden hill on sunday night! Yeah man! back to those good ole days of parties and booze! haha. i exaggerate. how bout guitars, pizza and talk :) more my kind of thing. man i do miss those bunch i left behind there....HULLO guys! how yer doing? :)

qianyi called to ask me how to get to suntec. n i dunno. kinda distwacted cuz i was on the other line...sorry girl. for some reason, hearing her voice was the cherry on top of my gigantic cone of multi-coloured swirl ice-cream!

Ahh. THIS is bliss :)

2003-07-02T19:19:00.000+08:00

lit was over today......3 hours, 3 essays. im having a headache. had it since i woke up. plus flu. felt like a 500pound of something bludgeoned into my head, skewering it like a marinated chicken wing.

why wasnt it math today. why wasnt i sick when it was math instead.

wouldnt have made ANY difference at all.

now i dont have the energy to mug for geog. i feel like a rag doll. wait. a punch and judy puppet. guess which one. anyway. rjc's system's damn screwed. if u plan to be a 2nd intaker no matter what, go to some other blardy jc. over here, they give you 3 hrs worth of makeup lessons for 3mths of stuff u missed.

sigh. my immune system's in a horrid state. i don't want to do geog. i dont want to know what i got for math. oh well it'll be a good laugh yeah...i think ive got a gene deficiency...God forgot the math strand.

Oh quit whining you loser.

2003-07-01T18:07:00.000+08:00

Love, all alike, no season knowes, nor clyme,
Nor houres, dayes, months, which are the rags of time."
--The Sunne Rising, Donne

2003-06-30T12:00:00.000+08:00

You Can Talk to Animals!

What's Your Magic Power?
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2003-06-30T11:56:00.000+08:00

Hurray. math is over. joeun must be breezing home now, having emerged unscath. and amos..amos have the cheek to proclaim that the paper's "damn easy". hurmphft. Ha.

guess what Iam doing. sinking into my cushion with relief and chomping/pigging out/onto my 3rd delectable piece of bbq pork, trying not to move too much so as not to aggravate this after math syndrome. pun not intended, but pretty apt.

sneaked a peep into the mirror. rudely surprised that my hair is still largely brown. anticipated something at least like the medusa twins in the matrix. aw shucks.

inspected my eyes on which he had showered compliments and kisses on. oooohh...ive got eyebags! and dark eyerings!!!

anyone wants a makeover?

i refuse to dwell on the fact that im probably getting 20 out of 66 (hey thats 1/3! bravo!) for my math terms. look on the bright side. at least ive got somemarks. and i refuse to be nettled by unreciprocation of my affections.

I shall dance and sing my farewell to horridly disgustingly NOXIOUS math (bah)--for the time being. and reasons i have to do so! HEYA marisa!!! its been a long while!!! glad you are doing great. Oz is a nice place. i might just tolerate math if i were to attempt it in a place close to Eden but not quite (NZ is!) hey o malley! hehe im eloquent? look above...disjointed jargon. hmm. must be math..........

2003-06-29T10:48:00.000+08:00

What Finding Nemo Character are You?
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2003-06-29T10:45:00.000+08:00

I WANT A PARTY!!!! *looks pointedly at THE diva, hoping she gets the hint and organise a post terms bash :)

2003-06-28T16:05:00.000+08:00

Growing Old With You by Adam Sandler
I wanna make you smile
whenever you're sad
carry you around
when your arthritis is bad
all I want to do, is grow old with you

I'll get your medicine
when your tummy aches
build you a fire when the furnace brakes
oh it could be so nice growing old with you

I'll miss you, kiss you
give you my coat when you are cold
need you, feed you
even let u hold the remote control

Let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
put you to bed
when you've had to much to drink
I could be the man
who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you

2003-06-27T18:21:00.000+08:00

you're the virgin suicides. you're sad but pretty, and very, very dreamy.

take the which prettie movie are you? quiz, a product of the slinkstercool community.

same as simone :) figures :) afterall we are best buds :)

2003-06-27T17:51:00.000+08:00

heres the link: http://www.pressanykey.com/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/pak/treetypes.pl it cant show on the tag board for some reason i cant fathom! <

2003-06-26T16:11:00.000+08:00

received news that shes the president of the student council in a jc i prefer to keep anonymous. the news deliverer looked at me expectantly, probably anticipating a snide remark or a facetious retort of some dismissive sort. strangely, i wish her all the best from the bottom of my heart.

a volatile friendship we had in primary school, spilled-over to sec sch. funny sort of best friends. well-wishers have told me repeatedly that shes up to no good;that i'd be better off somewhere far away from her. i never did heed those warnings. do i regret? no i dont. the lessons i learnt in sec 4 are dearer than any other taught to me from any text book or pccg lesson.

some people tell me its because shes envious of me. others say shes ambitious and have no scruples in doing away with anyone who stands in her way. well i still dont get it. im just a nondescript girl who's anxious to make things work the way they should. do i stand in her path? i guess not. our paths deviate so much that i see no nodal point. still, there must be a reason why she hates me so much. she must have her reasons on why shes so bent on seeing me fall.

i still remember the release of the Os. i was happy--ok, ecstatic--to realise ive gotten straight As and 7pts. when she came over to enquire (that's the 1st time she talked to me since THE incident) bout my results, i happily shared my joy with her. it didnt even occur to me to ask how she did. i knew all ny girls prob did very well. its just whether its within their own expectations.
"so...wads your L1R5?"
"7!" *bubbling with joy
"hm. not bad. but i got 6"
fine.so....congratulations...you 'won'. at least in your terms. i wasnt even competing. and though i know 7 aint the perfect score, i was pleased that my hardwork paid off. hey. i'd be ecstatic with an 8 or even a 9 considering the fact tt i had 20pts at the start of sec3. so....im not ambitious enough? erm...sue me?

im not ambitious. what an understatement. i just wish i could magic myself away together with all those around me who matter--simone, aileen, qianyi, lingkai, jasmine, rachel, quentin, superstar, jo ting, him, my family--onto an Eden-ic island and feast on ambrosia and nectar all day long. anything to get away from classroom politics or politiking of any kind.

hey. maybe you guys are right. ive been too gullible. must be living in my bubble for too long. there are baddies in this world and unlike fairytales, they dont poof and disappear cuz i aint no fairy god mother.

anyway. to you who may or may not be reading this: i really wish you all the best cuz i know you will do well as council pres. whether or not you think you've done anything wrong, whether or not you seek forgiveness, it is given to you though im trying hard--and almost succeeding--in forgetting.

2003-06-26T14:43:00.000+08:00

wandered into this celtic trees type inquiry. its based on your birthdate. heres mine:

Full of charm
cheerful
gifted
without egoism
likes to draw attention
loves life
motion
unrest and even complications is both dependent and independent
good taste
artistic
passionate
emotional
good company
does not forgive.

heres his:

Pleasant shape
tasteful clothes
modest demands
tends to not forgive mistakes
cheerful
likes to lead but not to obey
honest and faithful partner
tends to a know-all-attitude and making decisions for others
noble-minded
generous
good sense of humor
practical.

freaky.

2003-06-26T11:36:00.000+08:00

im 55kg. gosh. im turning into a pig. just 3wks of hols and 3kg gained. my goodness! its time to move the cadbury family sized almond chocs, 1 bar of hershey's cookies and cream (i just love those man...), 1/2 bar of toblerone out of my room.

guess how much work ive done. yeah. none.

yesterday was a jolly fine day. went to school for math in the morning. rach and i decided to opt out of the second half. he came over to to rj to pick me up in a cab. it was raining and pearls of rain streaked the window panes of the cab, leaving behind a shimmering legacy. head down to his place where we had jap food for lunch. the afternoon dissolved in laughter, puppies (i like the brown spotted one with the patch over his eye) and merriment. havent felt so happy in a long while...school has dampened the childish wonderment in me. i had almost forgotten how a pink cotton candy tastes on top of a huge ferris wheel in my jaded state. he makes me stop and smell the purple flowers along the way, and gaze at the fluffy clouds sometimes. hemakes me see that grades and work arent the essence of life. Love, happiness (and puppies) are. i wish every breathing minute of life can be as blissful as yesterday :)

2003-06-24T20:21:00.000+08:00

Dream, the third of The Endless, you are in charge
of the Dreaming, all imagination and
creativity, everyone knows your beautiful
realm, but none truly understand it. You are
dark and brooding, creative, and spend a lot of
time by yourself, just thinking. You are almost
as serious as Destiny, but not quite. Everyone
is enchanted by you, but you keep them all at a
distance, even when you shouldn't.

Which Endless are you?
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ha. this picture's mor-bid. grrrrr.....why does everyone, including this lousy quiz, think im stuck in my own bubble. wadever. each to his own.

today, i resolved to sit down and cram in everything. every single morsel of shakespeare and every bite of john donne--if his poems can ever be bite-size. well. i did achieve something. found out i might actually like that obnoxious--ok mr mcconnel--Witty poet, if i ever get down to studying his poems. i hate studying for lit. you dont study literature for goodness' sake.

im a grouch today. cant even write decently. disjointed, disorientated, distracted. i need another week of hols.

i need my panacea. now.

tata.

2003-06-24T11:09:00.000+08:00

You are the Figher Femme

Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
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2003-06-24T10:36:00.000+08:00

a former teacher of mine
dont know if you read my blog but since im doing this tribute to everyone dear to me, you are worth a thousand mentions. never knew if you realised but all through sec4 you were the key motivation for me. real glad to receive your email this morning. was wondering if you've disappeared from the face of the earth like ms foo and marisa or you've simply decided to ignore this pesky girl who thinks the world of you :)

Simone
simone baby im so sorry. forgot there are people around me who needs my attention or just need me around to listen. the past 6mths have caught me up in a whirlpool and wring out all the energy in me. i just wanna let you know, there's still space in my heart for my best friend. of course there is. as for him, i always wanted you two to find a new friend in each other and not make me choose. both of you are equally important to me and totally essential in bringing sunshine to my life. i guess my short stint in ac was filled with so much joy because i have both of you by my side. dear girl, my priorities have never altered, neither have my affections halved.

Qianyi
glad, so glad to receive that email. you are an extraordinary friend indeed...i realised suddenly how you never complained when simone and i have secrets between us two. you never once chide me, not even in your heart, for the times im irritable or too caught up with other things to listen to you. thank you, dear friend. glad you understand all these while.

Ling
HEY there good lookin' :) hehz :) thank goodness i've got you else i'll have no where to air my paranoia. darling you add to it and tt makes it ten times more fun :) we've both had our share of girlish whims and woes...(btw, cut bastard some slack. you sound like you are hyperventilating on your blog...just let him flounder around in the cess pool...haha dont worry im sure he wont dare to go near you with all those money hanging over his *ahem..sorry qianyi close your eyes...baby dont kill me...* "ball-less dick" ;p)

him
wed's our 4th month anniversary..days fly by real fast :) just glad to have you beside me, during this hard period of transition for me. i know your goals for the terms and i know you are having a hell of a time juggling everything. hehz who in the right mind will be a national runner, a school team going on to national debator, an econs whiz and a class rep all at the same time? :) always remember to look forward and you'll get there :) but remember...(sth a teacher of great inspiration to my writing told me): dont forget all those who help you get where you wanna be :) happy anniversary darling. i love you.

2003-06-23T15:59:00.000+08:00

i am hurt. someone's tore out my heart, stomped on it and chucked it to the dogs. i thought friends are people who understand u. i thought friends are people who stand by you. i thought friends are people who tell you straight in the face if they think sth's wrong and not keep quiet and tell others instead.

and so i thought.

i thought friendship, like any other relationship, goes two ways. i thought as long as you put in your part, everything's gonna be okay. i thought friends share the pain and blame when things go wrong--and not pile the fault on your shoulders.

and so i thought.

to those out there who feel ive forsaken them, i am so so sorry to even evoke that sort of feeling. if our friendship stands firm, you'd understand that this year is especially chaotic--ive changed frm ac to rj, frm a03b to a13a. ive changed schools, classes and people. it's not easy. at least for me. im sorry if im not the multi tasker, the fast adapter you thought me to be. or what all the wonderful things others are.

tears dont take away the pain. not this time.

2003-06-23T15:40:00.000+08:00

walked home after a very productive math cram class. feeling real pleased with myself for finally seeing what MI summation and apgp is all about. not that i like them any more after knowing those rascals. hrmph.

the air hangs like a chiffon drape flapping against the gentle breeze. quiet. yet not so. the chirpings of teensy sparrows and the language of flowers tinkle--enhanced by the stillness of the air. it is common to see people rushing to escape the impending rain. not me. not today. the sparrows are out in full force; the ginger cat is sprawled on the still warm concrete. captivated by the surreality, i walk, enthralled. everyone knows a long long time ago, fairies live in the folds of flowers. i think, it is on days like this that our shy little friends emerge from their fragrant petals and charm us as the rain...

p/s. simone...u can skip those stuff in italics.

pp/s. "what's you? you's this. poetic. flowers. elegant. classy. lilies. elves. fairies. magical wings. and SUPER looonng lashes." wow. ling ah ling has a high opinion of an insignificant, painfully nondescript girl. those are what i create, a world of fantasy and imagination--a disneyland of the kaleidoscopic life i so yearn to have...

2003-06-21T16:52:00.000+08:00

something i dont understand...pple tell me some stuff are very "me". what's me? sometimes i dont know what am i anymore. really.

i am defined by my way of thinking, sculpted into shape by my words. abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz. alphabets. a mere 26 of them. yet all of us can wield them and form a unique castle of our own. simple lines, long windows or stately victorian.

my musings put into words shape my being. they dictate what i am. i fashion them according to what i am.

Lately some have criticised the way i write. a jocular facade of pain i put on mask a whole depth of searing torture that runs through my soul and shake my being.

Am i to write the way i like. or the way others would like me to?

2003-06-21T12:05:00.000+08:00

Pink:
You see the world in bright pink. The world is a
happy, happy place! You love all people and
things!! Life is great! You're just like a
happy child. Spread the cheer.

Made by
Sara

What color do you see the world in?
brought to you by Quizilla

Come and hold my hand
I wanna contact the living
Not sure I understand
This role I've been given
I sit and talk to God
And he just laughs at my plans
My head speaks a language
I don't understand

I just wanna feel
Real love fill the home that I live in
Cos I got too much life
Running thru my veins
Going to waste
I don't wanna die
But I ain't keen on living either
Before I fall in love
I'm preparing to leave her

Scare myself to dead
That's why I keep on running
Before I arrive
I can see myself coming
I just wanna feel
Real love fill the home that I live in
Cos I got too much life
Running thru my veins
Going to waste
And I need to feel
Real love and the love ever after
I can not get enough

I just wanna feel
Real love fill the home that I live in
I got too much life
Running thru my veins
To go to waste

I just wanna feel
Real love and the love ever after
There's a hole in my soul
You can see it in my face
It's a real big place

Come and hold my hand
I wanna contact the living
Not sure I understand
This rope I've been given
Not sure I understand
Not sure I understand
Not sure I understand
Not sure I understand

hehz. picture this: zipping across an australian desert in a flashy sports car with this song blasting from your stereo. whoa :)

ha. me and my fantasies.

2003-06-20T10:34:00.000+08:00

You are Neo, from "The Matrix." You
display a perfect fusion of heroism and
compassion.

What Matrix Persona Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

cool.

2003-06-20T10:10:00.000+08:00

I say it's pure evil to have the terms right after the hols. and its double wickedness to have a HUGE islandwide sale right before the terms.

Sigh. i need retail therapy....

righto man. im passing over a shopping trip with the mom for a study date at the library later on in the afternoon. my very first crack at the books.

No im not hardworking. just selfish.

I just want to dull the alarums to a tolerable level enough to keep my sanity. and i crave a quiet afternoon of productivity and familiarity.

yes. shopping can wait. i need my regular dose of sunshine :)

2003-06-19T11:49:00.000+08:00

I hate it. Simply loathesome...this vile creature of trigonometry and countless bloody theorems. Black and slimy and utterly pungent. Really. Cant ever fathom how double math students like dear qianyi--a 100% sweet and wonderful girl--can ever have 2 year dealings with this nightmarish creature.

Math. The bane of all things beautiful in life.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT IM SPENDING MY DARN HOL TRYING TO MAKE HEAD OR TAIL OF THIS FREAKING THING?!

At times like this i wish i could morph into Neo and kick this pesky creature in its fat mountain troll-like butt. Or a whisk of my wand like harry potter. whatever. I JUST WANT IT TO POOF AND DISAPPEAR!

Bah.

2003-06-18T18:43:00.000+08:00

Quote: (If more than one window opens, there was a tie.)

See which Greek Goddess you are.

looks like i confounded the system.

2003-06-18T18:31:00.000+08:00

back frm the library after another bout of mugging. got my mental-and spiritual-larder replenished :)

i am sinking...sinking into the murkey depths of lethargy. a giant hammer pounds away and my nose answers with sneezes...i know i have to speed up my revision. i know i have to. and i know today's already wed.

Yet.

I remain blissfully ignorant.

cmon. its the hols. i aint going to the library tml. i gonna sleep in and pig out. Live out the hols the way it's spposed to be.

2003-06-17T21:39:00.000+08:00

barely 2 wks left, barely an inch ventured into the tower of books and revision notes. mr evans so nicely emailed me the essentials. real helpful-if i ever get to 'em.

majorly bugged bout the ministry internship. i wonder at the rationale-or politik (pardon me but i Am nettled) of millimetre deadlines. someone gotta rein me back before i create a rackus over it. grrrr. meow.

thank God for libraries. they put camouflage paint in the passe cart.

2003-06-17T10:07:00.000+08:00

tues morning. woke up to the smell of rain and the music of his voice. Still in the feathery folds of sleep, i lay blissfully, breathing in tune to the pitter patter of raindrops. I want to stay like this forever.

A nagging thought at the back of my mind. Small, but like a pin prick on my bubble world. Girlish fantasies erupted in a pop and i floated back to reality. Term exams.

Bah.

2003-06-16T20:54:00.000+08:00

i live here in my little bubble, laying in my quilt of woven happiness. Let it not be an illusion, but a vision.